another other me

in one rise, with one pull
death travels on through without rule
slow motion in a straight line through the air
from hands that are regretfully mine

in one small instant - in one quick explosion
ive met instant regret - my grinding insides gritty erosion

there is nothing in being that is worse or more painful
than feeling and seeing yourself bring pain on a loved one

collapse on my knees and look up to the sun
my eyes ignite in a salty fire

what have i done?
why have i done?
look what ive undone - someone's life who had just begun
that sick, twisted hatred that came from some
place very unsacred and strange, i do not know
some place that i wish never again to go
that hatred has changed masks - put on a new face
its eyes turn into MINE - my hate for others is replaced

i see it when it glares back in a reflection
i see such in perfection - this unwanted connection

i hate. the deepest hate.
its so real, and for myself
it rests in MY eyes whenever i see ME.
i hate ME. for this.

Here's to my perishing, pray for my end
no one should cherish me - not even ME

i hate ME for this