Manifest Destiny

I've wanted my whole life to meet an angel

to see upon a beauty only seen by ghosts

to be amidst pure soul where flesh is absent and hole

I've dreamed she love me and I love her as thee

a mirror of the inside of me I cannot see

a manifest of destiny

I've chased a child's lifetime

in swings and skips 

through sails of ships

in so many nooks and their so many crannies

in pseudo character of motion light

in pages and chapters

in arrested illumination and its bodily captor
bound tight

I've been digging for this ghostly groan in a pile of bones

poking for nothing less than breath

on a road paved to my angel's death

A path gets traveled backwards and the end is most dreadful

still we never turn around until after the cliff is of no return

because behind us is a gust of lust that fills up our lungs with sweet empty air

and tickles our nose hairs

and oh how sweet it tastes unbare

I flew this path although naive

although ignorant as a two year old thief

still I flew

to touch the angel I had laid in my mind I had to find

On a moment as sure as the sun

the sun so as fast as it could

hid its face and made the sky dark as my heart

and on darkness I stood

I stripped away life and breath

to breathe is a gift

I unwrapped and destroyed it as it mine to void and rift

My hands would never do such a thing as I did

Then explain her death but as your heart of this rid

but just a kid - doesn't change it

but only a child - doesn't sway it

The spirit I was yearning and losing and burning

was held and drowned

killed by my very sound

Now why watch a will to live
lift and split and cease to exist

But who am I to magestify myself

What right do I have to think I own life

much less death

to think I pilot what time I have left

or that any other clock ticks by my count

or that the cosmos might almost notice any piece of my shout

and song and hopelessness

this rawness does not lay in my hands

But the hands that hold and the hands that feed

tell me that she still sings

she still paints and creates

she still lights up the moon near by the sea

she still looks for me 

and I for her

the angel the clincher

Not she I shall chase

but the heart of the one who lay the mug of my face

Who lay before me 

the manifest of my destiny

No more shove in love

but surrender to fall forever